IM HOME! It feels great. It’s so interesting to be in this city again after a relatively short absence and feel like everything is new. I know this feeling won’t last forever, but I’m just trying to enjoy every second of it. I just wanted to go over my current mental and physical health state. Because it’s been super interesting to see how this change has affected me. But this has been the most significant decision of my life thus far. It’s super inconvenient that we had to rake such an expensive and inconvenient lesson to get to this conclusion. But the positives outweighed the negatives, and it was all worth it.
First and foremost, I want to discuss my physical well-being. TRIGGER WARNING…gonna discuss weight. As I mentioned in my previous article, I had pretty terrifying physical symptoms that I believed required medical intervention. My blood pressure was high, my resting heart rate was elevated, and I was not comfortable with the state of my body. Since the decision to move, my resting heart rate has dropped 10 bpm. Every fitness marker monitored by my Apple Watch has improved dramatically. I’ve lost 17 lbs and restored my cardiovascular strength. Also, most importantly, my blood pressure has not exceeded 115/80. Do you understand how crazy that is? My anxiety was so high that it was actively creating a health problem.
There’s been a paradigm shift in my mental health. I feel so happy and clear that it’s almost suspicious. I’m prone to manic episodes when I get excited about something. My addictive personality reigns, and I become fully invested and obsessed with that object or activity. But this feels different. Not only am I excited, but I’m also being realistic about the comedown. I know the novelty will fade a bit. I may get a little bored or burnt out. But the appreciation and the sense of purpose are what I think will push me through. I’m also actively preparing for when I hit a low. I’m making sure I don’t fall into the same habits as before. It’s been a long time since I felt this complete.
People have asked me what lead to the decision to come back. It’s hard to put into words because my intention isn’t to bash LA or act as though there’s something inherently wrong with that city. There are a million things bad with that city. But there are a million things wrong with Salt Lake City as well! What ultimately led to my decision was asking myself what my family needed. What my wife and I both need to thrive. In LA, I was doing incredibly well financially. I began to make a name for myself slowly and quickly earned enough to pay rent. I had good connections and very savvy people ready to move and help me if I decided to go more prominent with the business. But it didn’t feel personal. The work culture of LA is very superficial. Making connections beyond the exchange of goods and currency felt impossible. It came down to the difference between making something there or being a part of something here (in SLC). I’m unsure if I can say this, and I hope it doesn’t come off as arrogant…but I feel like I am a part of this city. I’ve built something here that can keep growing. My wife has created something here that she can keep growing. We are supposed to be here.
The infrastructure we have in this city makes everything feel perfect. I missed my family and my friends. My people are here. My passion left the kitchen when I was in LA, and my love for baking turned into stress over simply completing the task. I’m back where I want to be. I’m surrounded by loved ones and allies. I wake up happy every day and ready to create and experience. My appetite is back too. Anyway. Thank you, everyone, for your support.
I’m looking forward to whatever comes my way.
